userdefinedlogic

I have now finished my third week of employment and things are, in the main, going really well. People have different drivers and one of mine is to feel useful and now I do, very much. It’s a quite profound feeling to be helping people at a point when they really need it.

On a personal level, feeling that I can finally get things sorted out and “return” to a sense of normality is a great relief. To have that through doing something I enjoy is cream on top.

Jali is settling into her new job too. I miss her like crazy but we are both very busy getting sorted and that makes the weekend much more fun 🙂 It is awesome that she is getting to spend so much time with her family (soon to be expanded by 1! 😀 ) The only downside I can see so far is it appears to have inspired her to create evil questions in the trivia game…

I finally know what the hell is up with my kidneys. Hurray. They are bad. Boo.

This is what I have… http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000472.htm

It’s good to know what you’re up against as you then know what you can do to fight it.

There is a reason for the weird juxtaposing of the last two subjects. After I told Jali about the kidney thing, she chucked in at the end of the conversation that if I needed one of her kidneys I could have one…

I think the phrase is “gobsmacked”… and moved beyond measure… Thankfully, that potentiality is far from certain and as I said knowing the enemy is a key weapon but how wonderful to be offered a gift like that? I love you sweetie x

I’m very lucky that I have made contact with many of my extended family this year. My cousin Liz was married to her long time partner Michael. I wasn’t in a position to go, sadly, but once I am sorted out I’m gonna be visiting! Can’t wait to see Tracey and Rachael and everyone.

Maybe one day reconciliation’s might happen with others but that will be in the future.

Life on a personal level is good…

I have a curious sense of optimism building up. Dare I let it sweep over me? Hmmm.

Allow me to elucidate.

I find it curious the things that have effects on me. You’d suppose that ‘normal’ things would motivate me. Due to many things, not least how I was made to feel as a kid, the ‘normal’ things tend to unsettle me. I have this weird need for approval from people I have never met and am never likely to. When I get it, I feel such a surge of positivity. This is not a trait I am proud of but we all need that endorphins boost of feeling good so I’ll take it for now. Sue me.

Regular readers (arf!) may recall the nonsense I had to deal with regarding my neighbour upstairs. Well I am chuffed to report that for the past four months, he’s been behaving. It’s actually off if I *do* hear a noise from upstairs so yay. It has to be better for him too that he’s not getting crap all the time but it’s a good sitch right now. Well, Tracey, the lady from the council who helped me with all that, has now become the manager of a council operation called the “Housing Support Unit”. Their office (I kid you not) is thirty yards away from the block I live in.

Somehow, what with the neighbour thing and also Tracey having observed me helping mentor a group of adults learning new skills, I seem to have impressed her greatly. To the point where she has obtained permission for me to work on a volunteer basis in the HSU office and, pending a CRB check (see below!), I can work alongside the team helping adults in varying circumstances who may be in danger of losing their home or they require help in some fashion. On Tuesday next week, I am to be introduced to her boss. Tracey is currently putting together a plan to obtain financing for the unit for the next three years that is due to be heard in March. Whilst there is never any guarantee for these things, she is quietly confident. If it is successful, the unit will be recruiting new staff and, oh look, we seem to have someone right here… Eek! Etc. I would love it to bits if I could realise this.

I shall keep you posted.

Regarding that guff about approval earlier, I got two bursts of “approval” in the post today. The first one was a clean CRB check that will allow me to do the work with Tracey and her team (Yes!) and the second was my Security license. I am now licensed to kil… oh wait, nooo, I am licensed to be a security operative so I can seek positions in that area. For some reason I had this sense that I would not get either (no reason, just a lack of confidence.) but huzzah! I got both, hence the endorphins rush…

Imagination running riot starts… now!

Trying to figure this out but the link isn’t working. It’s a shame because I wanted to post some links to Hothouse Flowers that I was listening to earlier today…

It’s been a very quiet time overall altho’ spending time with Glyn and his family over Xmas was really good. The best time I have had over the last few weeks is spending more time chatting to Jill. She lifts my spirits.

What has been great to hear is that Jill has resumed writing her story “Granny”. I think I should point her in the direction of Sheleena to get them to compare notes…[ponders]

http://24hoursofhappy.com/

So, I was looking at the reflection of my eye on the inside of my sunglasses
Trying to spot the point in my past where everything went wrong
When the bus hit me…