userdefinedlogic

Well gawsh, for some reason I decided that, as I suddenly has shitloads going on, I should dust down this old thing and get to posting. I have much to impart that I daresay the world is holding it’s breath for.

There’s mostly one thing on my mind today though. My friend Jill.

She’s spending her weekend in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, at a funeral for a friend and work colleague who passed recently.

I hope her and her colleagues remember their friend well and have a good celebration of his life amidst the tears.

I just wish I could be there to give her a cuddle.

xx

…I have seen advertisements on the television for a new film called “Arthur” featuring (I will NOT say “star” ) Russell Brand. Is this the same story as played by Dudley Moore? Because if so… ack

Regular readers (chortle!) may recall my praise of the columns written by Brian Viner of the Independent newspaper. He specialises primarily in writing about sport. He has conducted a number of interviews with well-known sporting figures and I have long admired how he approaches his subjects and the insights he encourages them to reveal.

A few years back, he moved from London to the wilds of Herefordshire and has a longstanding ‘sister’ column relating the trials of that move upon himself and his family and general stories about their new life and the ‘adventures’ and characters they have encountered and they are highly entertaining.

I like his style of writing because I have always found him to be highly considerate. Even when discussing his beloved Everton Football club, his eye is never so jaundiced as to deny (however grudgingly!) the merits of another team *even* if they are L****pool. I can enjoy his musings on these things because I support Brighton (I may have mentioned this before…) and therefore am not qualified in football matters.

However, one thing that I do appreciate is his attention to his readers. He is never too busy to acknowledge and reply to comments sent by readers, even when they are the demented ramblings of a Brighton fan. You see, I had cause to register my disgust across the internet regarding the amazing lack of terrestrial tv coverage of Switzerland vs England a while ago. I was, momentarily but very definitely, pissed off about it and Brian was kind enough to reply with something appropriately soothing about how the walls of civilisation as we know it are gradually crumbling etc. I suppose I forgave ITV (as they are the ones who purport to be responsible at the minute for England matches) as even the most hardcore fan may have thought twice about watching a full 90 minutes of Switzerland but that wasn’t my point.

After the world cup fiasco, I would have thought qualification matches for Euro 2012 would have been must watch games to see how England may improve (if at all). Rather naively, I supposed that being relatively poor wouldn’t be an issue and the games (even if only highlights) would be available to all. Nope. It was Sky or nothing.

Time moved on, wounds healed, lives were gotten. The next stage of the EC was approaching and *all* we heard about was Capello, Terry, Ferdinand et al. The fact that this was “A Local Derby” (Wales vs England) and all the spice that entailed. Craig Bellamy (see notes passim) doing his best to be moronic (And remember I actually *like* him a bit!) things were bubbling along nicely. I was all set to enjoy the game until I went to set the tv reminder. “Is this a mistake?” I wondered as I searched in vain for the programme note. Apparently not. As this was an “Away” match, no terrestrial tv station had rights to the game or even the highlights. Unbelievable. Naturally, my immediate instinct was to pester Brian with my outrage (poor bugger) and, once more he expressed dismay on my behalf like the good chap he is.

So, imagine my surprise when I received an email from *him* this time. Somewhat apprehensively opening it, expecting to find a request to cease and desist my sputterings, the note was the precise opposite.

“Hi Mark,

Just to let you know that I’ve aired your grievances in my column tomorrow!

All the best,

Brian”.

And here it is! http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/brian-viner/brian-viner-sky-or-bbc-easy-eloquence-of-monty-swings-it-ndash-as-long-as-the-wallet-is-willing-2265376.html

I was very excited opening the link and reading the article which, once again, was of Mr. Viner’s high quality (and I am honestly *not* just saying that!) and v. amusing. Even the irresistible temptation to make reference to Anti-Aircraft missiles. (At the very least, BV got it right.)

Either way, and notwithstanding the excellence of Sky’s golf coverage, which includes the 3D facility that reportedly so excites Augusta chairman Billy Payne, it is utterly shameful that all those among Britain’s golf lovers who do not pay Uncle Rupert 50-odd quid a month, have not yet been able to watch this year’s Masters at all. And it’s not as if this creeping disenfranchisement is limited to golf. A fortnight ago I received an email from a reader, Mark Flack, who had already contacted me last autumn to express his incredulity that the Switzerland v England Euro 2012 qualifier was not shown on terrestrial TV. This time it was Wales v England that drew, if he’ll forgive me, his flak.

“There’s been lots of preamble to today’s game,” he wrote, “what with Capello and Terry and Bellamy… the minor point of this being an international derby. And is it on TV? Nope. Only bloody Sky again, of course. Actually, I tell a minor lie, I can catch highlights on S4C later … must brush up on my Welsh. Why is there no anger in the press about this? Does none of this matter any more?”

The answer is that it does matter, enormously. That there is no longer much anger in the press is partly because sports writers are either at these events in person, or have Sky at home, and partly because, as King Canute knew, it’s futile trying to turn back the tide. I don’t share Mr Flack’s irritation with Sky, incidentally. They’re a commercial organisation who, misjudged James Brown jingles apart, do a cracking job. What is upsetting is the diminishing responsibility the BBC and ITV seem to feel towards armchair sports fans, and the increasing likelihood that even the so-called crown jewels currently protected for universal access, among them our beloved Grand National, will one day belong exclusively to subscription television. The way it’s going, Sky will end up not just with our Monty, but the full Monty.

I have quoted the relevant bit of the article as I have two points to make. First, I concur with Brian about Sky. I also feel they do a cracking job and have been highly innovative in delivering TV (especially sport) to those who can afford it. They are a business. And the second point made about the sheer wimpishness of our two main terrestrial broadcasters lamely accepting this state of affairs is what really irks me. After some pootling about, I finally found a contact email for ITV’s “Customer Services”. (It’s on page 75 of the 2011 Oxymoron Guide) and wrote off asking why there was no coverage of the game.

I got this in reply (quoted verbatim)

Dear Sir/Madam

Thank you for your recent email regarding England v Wales EURO 2012 Qualifier.

I can confirm that SKY Television have secured the ‘rights’ to broadcast the England EURO 2012 qualifying away games hence ITV not broadcasting today’s match, it may also be worth noting that due to the contract SKY have we are unable to show a highlights programme.

ITV do have the ‘rights’ to Euro 2012 qualifier home games for this competition along with England ’s friendly matches.

If you wish to take the complaint further you would need to UEFA as they allocate the ‘rights’ to the various broadcasters.

I hope the above clarifies the situation.

As I don’t know how to UEFA anything (sic) and I believe I may enter a black hole if I was ever unfortunate enough to ‘speak’ to Sepp Blatter, I resisted. Just the sheer lack of interest spoke volumes. To me, it’s entirely indicative of a malaise that has ITV having so many other problems. And the Beeb have nothing to crow about either as Brian so eloquently relates above.

So, to my legions of fans (Ha! I kill me!), I wanted to express my thanks to Brian for taking the time to express far better than I ever could something that seriously annoyed me and doing so much more graciously. Thank you sir. I also recommend his columns and books to you.

I have a confession. I support Brighton & Hove Albion. There, I said it!

We just happen to be having our best season in years. We currently sit proudly on top of League One, a good 8 points clear of the team in second place (currently Huddersfield) with two games in hand.

Supporters of football teams that have their roots in the lower leagues are a hardy bunch. They have very low expectations. Anyone can beat anyone. Sometimes, your team puts a run of wins together , or, usually, avoiding defeat by the skin of their teeth and, sure as eggs is eggs, the relentless march of defeats comes calling and down the league you plummet.

When this is coupled with bad administration of your club leading to you losing your ground thus necessitating a ground share with a club 100 miles away to play your ‘home’ games; which then leads you to using a converted athletics track as a ‘home ground’, things can’t really get much worse and makes that yo-yo feeling that little bit more nauseating.

So, you can imagine my bemusement when we have a season like this.  Gus Poyet (our manager) has turned us into an unstoppable force. Seriously. I check the results after every game and I am progressively more dumbfounded with every positive result. It’s almost a relief when we lose a game cos it reminds me that we are fallible after all. Football supporters are rarely logical about their team.  We still haven’t lost at home.

And speaking of home, the Goldstone ground used to be our home. It was, in the end, a shithole… but it was our shithole.  I went there a few times, the most memorable and funny time was when we were in the dizzying heights of the First Division as was.  Liverpool were the visitors.  We got hammered 0 – 4 but I recall it as the funniest game I ever went to.  We were herded into pens (as was the limit of crowd control back then) and were about twenty feet from the ‘Pool fans.  They were hilarious, the game was held in terrific spirit.  I have always had a soft spot for the scousers thanks to that. (I know they are far from angels but not that day, they were great.)

Well… Now our cuppeth runneth overeth.  As we romp to what must surely be a league championship we also look forward to our brand spanking new ground! Sadly, this may not be available to viewers outside the UK but I’ll try and find something global.  It looks amazing.  It is exactly the right sort of ground for an up-and-coming team like us. I really hope I get a chance to visit it sometime soon when we are playing in the Championship (or, dare I say it! The Premier League?)  Well done Brighton…

BBC Sport – Football – Behind the scenes at Brighton’s new ground.

Being half welsh I can’t lose this game. But I do think it’s… weak to make that claim, so when it comes to football, I’m english. Reason being, I grew up with the England football team. My first international was England vs West Germany at Wembley in the early 70’s. I think we won…

When it doesn’t involve England, of course I want Wales to win. They have had exceptional individuals over the years. John Charles, Cliff Jones, Ryan Giggs, Ian Rush, Mark Hughes… and yes, when it comes to how he actually plays football, Craig Bellamy certainly doesn’t besmirch that list. But they have always struggled to build a team. Which is even more strange when you consider their culture and background.  A truism of football is when you have a great team of workadays, you can achieve greatness. When an individual (through their own idiocy or not) rules, you don’t.

I would never rule out a welsh win in this fixture. But, I would sooner ask CB why he gets fired up to really compete in this fixture when he can’t be arsed to play against San Marino on a wet evening in November to achieve the same result. Parochialism is so not sexy Craig.

Before either England or Wales win however, I just hope whoever plays best on the night gets the result. If it’s meant to be it’ll be, unfortunately, you can’t turn off the bullshit that is associated with it. Cue CB.

England too scared to perform claims Craig Bellamy – International, Football – The Independent.

A new business in Holyhead that deserves to succeed. Against this economy and the idiotic policies of the local council insofar as they seem to actually make it unneccesarily hard for new business to get going, it’s good to see a new idea making a go of it. This first summer cruise trade is critical so fingers crossed…

Dee’s Deli in Holyhead, Ynys Môn, North Wales..

Literally breathtaking and mindblowing. Those poor, poor people.

Satellite Photos – Japan Before and After Tsunami – Interactive Feature – NYTimes.com.

So, in days of yore, it seemed that if you made an enquiry to a train or bus station regarding tickets for a journey, you’d get a considered and thorough reply. If your journey was indirect, i.e. you had to make changes during the journey between departure point and destination, that would be taken into account. You’d get a complete list of times, changes and a total price covering whether the journey was one-way or a return and, further, whether it was an ‘open’ return.

Modern technology is falling down hugely. It seems, if there is a journey that you want to take as suggested above, they can’t get their heads round that concept. If you want to Journey from Manchester Airport to Holyhead, their system cannot cope with that simple idea. It doesn’t seem to get that you might know that the journey will be fragmented and that you want to know the details and… *gasp* how much the bloody fare is. 6 times on 6 different sites I have endeavoured to gather this info and NOT ONE of the sites can tell me. Bunch of arse.

Also, Virgin Media suck donkey balls! So I live in a building where, sneakily, there are TWO residences. My neighbour gets VM broadband at his address, a really good deal as it happens. So I call VM to arrange for the change of provider. I get put through to the Philipines and spend a depressing amount of time trying to explain the concept of buildings with more than one residence. As my neighbour already has an account, they say they cannot process an another account for that address. “It’s not the same address” Say I, “It’s a different address in the same building”. Much confusion ensues. I actually enquire whether they have these types of buildings there, yes I am informed… I am advised that they will speak to their technical department and I will get a call back the next day. ::crickets::

So I call back and have another session of incomprehension. I endeavour to explain the situation as best as possible. No joy. So I get a contact number for an advisor from my neighbour and explain that I am not getting very far. I get put through to the Philipines again. After more fun I am advised that I will be called back… “Are you sure?” I say, doubtfully, “I wasn’t last time” Oh yes, this will happen! Ok… ::crickets::

So I go back to the advisor and explain that I am somewhat disappointed. I was under the impression that companies were hoping to attract new customers and were finding it hard, so here IS a new customer asking to come to them and their franchise appears to be trying to stop this. A curious business model. They are terribly sorry, we’ll put you through to our sales desk in Scotland. Oh, ok. Voice answers, “Hmmm, that accent doesn’t *sound* Scottish. “Um, may I ask where you are?” “The Philipines.”. “Oh, well, I’m afraid I am not carrying on this call as I have been messed about by this department too much so far”.

“Oh, are you a racist?”

::crickets::

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

Cue mumbled backtracking…”No, actually, I am sure I’m not, I just have an aversion to awful customer service and that is all I have experienced from you, but you know what? Just for you I will share this, You, I don’t fucking like at all!”

So, I’m not with VM …